avengerstimebitches: foxnewsofficial: cock-and-coke-is-my-white-rabbit: spookyroomba: foxnewsofficial: what does tumblr even mean tumblr means family. and family means nobody gets left behind. that’s actually kind of touching. it’s actually kind of gay that’s also what tumblr means
mspgay: snorlaxatives: snorlaxatives: aaaaalrighty-then: snorlaxatives: why is being alive so expensive You spelled “suck” wrong. ??????????????????????????????? i literally can’t even tell what you’re trying to say why is being alive so suck why is being alive suck why is suck suck is being alive so expensive why suck so expensive ?????
vivalaausten: greydelisle: The kid behind me at Starbucks got way too excited about the last pumpkin muffin….so I ordered it.
romulusthread: MY MATH TEACHER SAW ME TEXTING AND MADE ME STAND IN FRONT OF THE ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO READ THE TEXTS BUT I WOULNT SO HE TOOK MY PHONE AND READ THE LAST THREE ON THERE OUT LOUD AND THE FIRST ONE WAS “IM HUNGRY” AND MY FRIEND REPLIED WITH “HUNGRY FOR SEMEN” AND I SAID “TRUE THOUGH” IMGONNA JUMP OFF A BUILDING
craplos: ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
Okay, it's 9:30, I'll start my homework at 10:00.
sodamnrelatable: … Damn, 10:03, missed it. 11:00 it is!
louistheking: i say such sexual and inappropriate things but in reality i’m the biggest virgin you’ll ever meet
peevesies: peevesies: i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life whY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME
mishaoverlord: owlcitymordred: stagdoeandfawn: catully: brigwife: latitudeoctopus: brigwife: wait you mean you don’t use the word ‘fortnight’ in america??? Wait what? Then what do they use? they don’t have a word what do you mean they don’t have a word what kind of uncivilised people are they?? the fuck is a fortnight It’s a word for ‘two weeks’
me: shout out to my parents for combining their genes to create the most unattractive, weird, annoying and awkward person ever
When I laugh at something on Tumblr ...
sodamnrelatable: I’m over here like And my mom looks at me like So then I laugh harder like
message me a "unf" if you think im cute
niggajr: Watch me get nothing… same
Traffic would be awesome if we all drove hamster...
That awesome moment when you can read your best...
swiftingthrough: cloudy with a chance of why the fuck am i outside
Me: *sits in towel for 6 months after showering*
gabilliamqueen: gabilliamqueen: IM SO PUMPED I FEEL LIKE I COULD DO A FUCKIN BACKFLIP I CANNOT DO A BACKFLIP
When I die, I want someone to keep updating my...
sodamnrelatable: People be like “It’s colder than i thought it would be in hell.” “Send food” “Didn’t anyone tell them I’m claustrophobic?” “Umm…you guys…can you like…dig me up…I’m 6 feet under the ground in a coffin with my phone so uhhh yeah…” “Omg, Satan is so funny!” “Hell isn’t that bad, at least you get internet :)” “Hitlers a badass!” “I’m gonna stop by some of your houses, see...
egberts: egberts: put confetti in a shotgun to make it a shotfun apparently if you do this the confetti will catch on fire and it’ll probably end badly so please stop reblogging this
despairludenberg: the-fandoms-are-cool: urbanfuck: my mother must be so proud of her lazy, rebellious, anxiety-ridden, depressed child your mother must be so proud of her strong, smart child who lives each day dealing with anxiety and depression and still holds on oh man wow
gorgeousdarren: when you forget capslock is on and google something really aggressively by accident
When adults complains about our generation
laugh-addict: I’m here like hold the fuck up… who raised OUR generation? YOUR generation did, so…